On Christmas Eve in 2012, lay preacher and organist Alan Greaves was on his way to church when he was attacked by two men. His wife Maureen shared her story of how she made the choice to forgive his killers.

Alan was a lovely man. He was a great musician, and was a worship leader for most of his Christian life. He was also a reader in church, so he would lead services and preach. After he died, two statements seemed to flow through the condolence book: Alan was a real gentleman in every sense of the word, and he gave his full attention when you were talking to him, which made you feel not only that you were listened to, but that you were special. I was proud to be married to him.

Every Christmas Eve, Alan would play either organ or piano for the midnight service at church. Just after 11pm on Christmas Eve in 2012, he put his coat on and set off to walk to church. It was bitterly cold, and he came back for his hat. That action of coming back put him on the streets when two young men were walking along the road where we live.

These men were just walking round the village, but then they broke into a hut and stole two pickaxe handles, and ended up walking on to our road. Alan was in front of them. They started to move quite quickly towards him, and at the last moment ran to him and brutally attacked his head. The attack left him with severe brain damage, but his heart was still beating.

I got a knock on the door from the police, who told me that Alan had had an accident. I went to the hospital quite confidently, believing I could pick him up, but as soon as I saw the consultant I knew that something serious had happened. He told me that Alan had been very brutally attacked, and then he stopped. I could see he was distressed, so I asked, ‘Is he going to live?’ He said, ‘I’m afraid not.’ I immediately prayed: ‘Father, please take me on this very unexpected journey I’m suddenly finding myself on, and let it be to Your glory. Bring some glory out of this for Your Word, for Your kingdom’s sake.’

I went to see Alan and I couldn’t recognise him as his face was changing because of the swelling and the bruises and cuts that were all over his head, but I looked down at his hand and I knew it was him. I took his hand, and I said, ‘Yes, I can accept, Father, I can see that he’s going to die.’ Alan died three days later.

Before he died, my family came to say goodbye to Alan, but at teatime on Christmas Day I was able to sit totally alone with him. I remembered that on the next morning, I was supposed to lead the service at church and Alan would have been preaching. In a few hours’ time, I would have been leading people in the Lord’s Prayer, and saying, ‘forgive us our sins, as we forgive those that sin against us’. Alan would have preached on the Saviour of the world coming because we needed His forgiveness, we needed Him to open the gates of heaven for us, and to be cleansed by His death. By combining the stories of Christmas and Easter, we would have recognised that we too were sinners in need of a Saviour.

It struck me, as I held Alan’s hand, that I had known God’s forgiveness for 40 years. I absolutely knew that I was forgiven, and I absolutely knew without a doubt that His forgiveness for me also opened up the way for me to go and live with Him in heaven when I died. And so it felt to me that I could do no other but to talk to God about the people that had committed the murder. I prayed: ‘Father, please help me to forgive whoever has done this to Alan. Help me to forgive them totally and completely, so that I will never think of whoever has done this with anything but praying for them and giving them into Your hands.’ I said to God: ‘I want You to give me the ability to forgive them. I want to leave them in Your hands because You will deal with them with Your mercy, grace and justice. I don’t want to be waking up in the night thinking horrible thoughts about them. I want this forgiveness from You, and for You to give me the grace to do it.’

I felt immediately that God had done that for me, because it really was a heartfelt prayer. I knew it would release me from carrying them and from judging them. As I was thinking of Alan’s sermon, I really did believe that we were equal in our sins, and all four of us needed God’s forgiveness. And it held when I saw them at the magistrate’s court and looked at them in the box. I thought, ‘Yes, thank You God, they are in Your hands and I don’t have to have any ill feelings towards them at all.’ Because Alan was attacked on the street where we live and I have to pass the spot regularly, I turned it into a little prayer station. I pray very much for the two young men that one day they will know God’s forgiveness for themselves, and know that God loves them.

Forgiveness works. God’s ability to help us to forgive works. God’s forgiveness towards us works. It sets us free from the condemnation and the guilt and the burden that comes with sin. The consequences are sometimes there, but forgiveness from God works, and then our ability through God to forgive others works. It sets us free

We were spiritual partners, Alan and I. On our second date, we had gone for a long walk, and stopped for a rest in the church. Alan took my hand and said, ‘Let’s pray about our future together.’ And we continued to be a praying couple together. If he could have talked to me, I’m sure he would have said two things: ‘I’ve loved you passionately,’ and ‘Forgive those who have done this to me.’